If you ask couples to imagine and talk about their perfect vacation spent together, you will have the impression like you`re listening to a story of a great, romantic movie scenario. Rarely would somebody mention the possible problems and arguments that might occur between lovers, thinking that the vacation will go perfectly smooth.
But where people are not aware of is that perfect holidays like this almost never happen. It seems impossible to spend ten days away from home in perfect harmony, no matter how much the people love each other, vacation fights are a common problem. Many internal and external factors can affect different situations, causing minimal problems that might turn into a huge fight if you don`t stop or avoid them on time. However, if you lower down your expectations and get back to reality, you might have a better time than just dreaming about the perfect holiday with your partner.
I`m not telling you to be a pessimist. On the contrary, I`m just pointing out some realistic perspectives to your optimistic views and expectations about the vacation. To be more clear, I`m going to present you the most often problems and vacation fights that can shake up your relaxing time, followed by tips on how to resolve any problem on the way. Take a look at the following situations:
Different preferences regarding daily activities cause vacation fights
You want to spend the day at the beach, while your partner wants to explore the city. You want to watch a movie tonight, while your partner can`t wait to hit the dancefloor. And many other examples. Well, there is a high probability of something like this to happen, and it is entirely reasonable. You and your partner are not the same people. Remember how many times you rescheduled to see each other, just because you were doing something that your partner didn`t have an interest in joining. Or the other way round. However, things like these are normal, since you have your wishes and opinions apart from the ones you have together with your partner.
The solution here is not a one-way street. If you want to work it out and not shout at each other steadily, you will hopefully come to a particular compromise, where you will both agree on doing everything together. For example, one day you can both stay at the beach and the other you can have a look around the city. A simple compromise can lead you both to a happy vacation and a healthy relationship.
On the other hand, if you really think that this strategy will not only not help you but will make you more dissatisfied, then it`s better to have a time-off, meaning to split for those few hours (not in the relationship, just physically) so that both of you can do what you want to do – alone. This is not as bad as it might sound. Yes, you went on a vacation to spend some time together, but sometimes it`s good to have your alone time and not breathe into each other’s necks.
Too much use of technology
Oh yes, the problem of the new era. As much as technology has done good things for people, becoming a part of our everyday life and interacting with activities on a daily basis, it has come to the point of overruling and defocusing. What I mean is that people sometimes prefer the online life and activities rather than paying attention to what`s going on in front of them in the real world. You have probably had the same problems when you`re out with your friends. Well, unfortunately, this can also happen with your partner. You might find yourself in a situation where you are at a romantic dinner near the sea and instead of talking and exchanging looks, you find your partner to be more interested in the screen and the stories of his/her news feed rather than whatever you`re talking.
The truth is, people, don`t get how annoying this can be until it happens to them. And probably they don`t mean to make you feel sad and disappointed, but eventually, it turns like do it.
When you and your partner are planning your trip, you should set some ground rules, and you can always include some points about the use of technology. But you both have to agree upon the rules because otherwise, it would be just a meaningless talk. For example, before going somewhere, you can always decide on using a limited time for the online world or only go offline and don`t carry all those laptops and tablets with you. You can also agree that you won`t be occupied with work problems and e-mails while you have your vacation. After agreeing, if one of you is not respecting the “deal” during the holiday, instead of arguing instantly – you can always talk about it and prepare some “punishments”.
Don`t let jealousy ruin your vacation
In summer people are usually going to the beach, where they feel free, open-minded and sometimes really self-confident. Yes, there will be a lot of sexy girls wearing a bikini and hot guys showing off their muscles at the beach. And yes, you and your partner will probably catch a glimpse or even comment on some of the people around you. But that is no reason to feel unimportant to your partner and feel jealous because he/she might take a look at somebody on the beach that has a great body. Another type of jealousy that might fire up a big argument is when you notice that some friend is texting your partner. This happens because you have a lot of free time together and there`s a chance you might do stuff you haven`t done before, like checking his/her phone or going through his/her privacy.
To be honest, if you start having problems like these, you might have to have a serious talk with your partner, since it has something to do with your trust. If you are in a healthy relationship, this should not be the reason to start off a huge fight. Just be honest with each other.
Decisions on the amount of money that should be spent
Issues regarding the budget can occur during a vacation because this is the closest you have come to living together. Even if you live together, you might still have different opinions on the amount of money that should be spent for and during the vacation. If your partner wants a luxurious accommodation, but you think you can`t afford it, then don`t be silent about it but try to talk it through. Specify how much money you would divide for the vacation and let your partner do the same. Then, try to gather all the money and plan your trip wisely. The vacation should be a time off of your everyday stressful life and not just another period of the year where you`ll be drowning in concerns about your debts.
Unexpected disasters and other threatening conditions
When you`re traveling, you`re supposed to have a perfect time but it happens quite often that in the peak of the enjoyment exhaustion can strike you, making you hungry, sleepy and dehydrated at the same time. In these moments, you don`t tend to react pleasantly since you`re in a search for something that will rest you, feed you and make your body get back on track. So, whenever you start to fight with your partner, make sure you`re not doing that because of a certain dissatisfaction connected to your current mood, but not related to a problem that you and your partner seem to have.
Also, many people start fighting because they are bored. This is probably the worst reason ever since there`s no motive for arguing, just a person`s wish to spice things up, even though it could be lethal for the relationship.
Additionally, unexpected events can happen during your vacation that might disappoint you, like losing your passport or being late for the show of the magical fountain or breaking your phone. At a certain point, just because you feel stressed out and nervous by these events you might want to let it all out on your partner, regardless of the fact if he/she isn`t the one to blame. The cure to situations like these is to take a deep breath, remind yourself that the problem can be fixed and instead of arguing and ruining your vacation, focus on the lovely things that have happened and can still happen while you`re there by simply laughing about it and enjoying the moment.
Finally, remember that you`re traveling to a destination to spend some time with the person you love, so whatever comes on the way is just a test of how much you know and respect each other and how far you can go together in life. We hope you will not have any vacation fights on your next holiday after reading this article. If you find this helpful, please share it!